About Us

Here at The Almond we are dedicated to providing award winning news reports to you anytime and anywhere. Our expert field reporters and team of fact checkers guarantee that you get the juiciest news you could ask for. All of our stories that we report are 100% real and factual because we are a totally legit news platform, just ask anybody.

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Ever since we started back in 1776 we have prided ourselves on the drive that fuels our passion for reporting to all the Almond heads out there. We appreciate every single one of our readers and we thank you for your centuries of faith and dedication. The only time we have ever screwed up was in 1977 and we fired that guy so don't worry about it.

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This website is not real but it could be.